Blogging About Pregnancy (and why I don't really do it)

I realize I announced baby number two and never said another word about it. I feel like a bad mom already, I swear I'm excited about this one! Truth is, most days I forget I'm pregnant. It usually hits me when I sit down for two seconds and end up falling asleep, or when I do things like leave a bagful of meat from the grocery store in the trunk for two days. But for the most part, baby number two has been flying under the radar for 15 weeks while I chase Veda Jane around the neighborhood. It is so so different this time around, that I am even more convinced than I was after I had V that every pregnancy and birth is all its own beast.

Blogging about pregnancy, labor, and most things having to do with parenting techniques, is an enigma to me. On one hand I like the idea of blogging your experience, because I learn a lot from moms that share their insight, and would love to be helpful to others in the same way. But on the other hand, I fear inciting passionate opposition, discouragement, or intimidation for mom's who do it differently. It is hard not to share your triumphs without feeling like you're bragging. After all, you're proud you got that baby sleeping through the night by eight weeks! But doing so might mean discouragement or intimidation for the mom just wanting to vent her experience without hearing how she should fix it. I love Lindsay's post about that here. I've settled into the belief that you were designed to mother your child, and nobody knows how to do that better than you. If you don't believe it matters, just mention formula to the mom nursing her 18 month old and crying-it-out to the parents with the babe sleeping between them. New moms are a ticking time-bombs of hormones and exhaustion- we must be gentle with one another!

The other reason I don't really like blogging about pregnancy is that I think it brings out new insecurities, with everyone comparing their stats. It seems today that you can't just be pregnant, you have to be cute and pregnant. You can be pregnant, but you have to look like you're not actually pregnant. You must to dress in surprisingly fashionable ways and defy the temptation to don maternity clothes! All of that can be fun, unless you start believing that all of that is actually what matters. With Veda Jane, I said little about pregnancy on here other than the emotions or funny stories tied to the experience, mostly because I was trying with all my might not to turn into a baby blog. I came into this second pregnancy with the realization that most of the things that get blogged about- the weight gain, how long you went without maternity clothes, the triumph over stretch marks- become very trivial the second that baby arrives. Our society keeps telling us that how pregnancy looks on us matters, but it doesn't. It isn't about you. It's about giving yourself up for the sake of another's life. And if you don't figure that out during nine months of doing so, then it might hit you the moment you experience the neediness of a hungry babe at four in the morning. So if you're reading blogs and you're worried that your pregnancy isn't perfect because you don't exercise twice a day, you stopped wearing heels at 6 months, and you've gained more than 5 pounds your first trimester, you're fine. I really want you to know that you're fine. Just be healthy, and do everything you can to bring a healthy baby into this world. Your pregnancy is as perfect and as beautiful as the next one, and it is as unique and specifically designed for you as the babe you're growing in that belly, whether it popped out at 30 weeks, 12 weeks, sits low, is perfectly round, or is nearly non-existent!

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